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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

EGB at Her First Wedding...

Actually there were lots of "firsts" over the past week. First plane, first hotel, first rehearsal dinner, first trip to a bar, first time in Chicago, first time in Ohio, first time meeting some family members, first time in DC, first dirty diaper in a hotel in DC, first time in a stroller on a cobblestone street at 11PM in Georgetown...I could do this all day, but I'll spare you the agonizing list and get to the wedding breakdown.

A successful wedding is a fluent orchestra of timed events and celebrations. A successful day with EGB is not running out of diapers or butt paste and managing to put on a onesie without severing an ear or dislocating a shoulder. As one can see...a successful wedding is on another planet from a successful day with a newborn.

That having been said, I believe that I was most successful in losing every drink that was ordered. Over the course of the night I ordered about 100 beers. It went like this--The drink was ordered. A sip was taken. Baby cries, farts, or tries to run away. Drink is placed down. Drink disappears. This cycle happened approximately 100 times. So I had about 100 sips of beer in 8 hours which amounts to a really inefficient way to drink 1 beer. I apologize to all those beers for not being a better companion, but there was a baby to tend to.

In all seriousness, EGB wants to say thank you to her beautiful Aunt Allie and handsome Uncle Andrew for hosting a wonderful wedding to cry at. She cried many tears of joy and can't wait to grow up with them and her cousin(s) to be. She's sorry if she cried at the wrong time during the ceremony, but it was her first wedding so she wasn't sure of the protocol.

Here's EGB trying to get a drink at the bar at the rehearsal dinner. I think she tried to flash her binky for some VIP treatment, but the bartender didn't seem to notice her. No respect. I told her she needs to learn how to walk first, but you know how kids are.
Papa tired. EGB thinks it's funny. Ha ha. It ain't funny.
Wedding night. Oh my what to wear? Soooo many choices. Is it going to be that green tie dye onsie? The pink sleeveless onsie? A towel? What diaper should I wear? The white ones in size N or size 1? I think this halter dress is going to be stunning. Eat your heart out baby Suri Cruise you ain't got nothin on my style.
Who wore it better?
Jolie-Twins? 0%
EGB? 100%
Just chilling on the grass waiting for the ceremony to start. Should I cry now or later? I think I'll just do both to be safe.
A rare picture without EGB. Notice the glazed over looks in our eyes that says, "I know you got more sleep than me last night. I'd fight a Russian Army with a spork to obtain 4 hours of straight sleep." I know you know that look.
The ceremony on a grass rooftop. I've been thinking about growing some grass on my roof. Now that I think of it--that'd be a good name for a male hair replacement product, "Grass Roof--It's time to grow some grass up there."
They all love me. I'm a star. I'm the show. They can't get enough of me. Wait a why am I strapped into a car seat at a wedding like a mental patient?

The bride. The mom. The baby. Looks like the baby is going for the keg of milk tap there. A horizontal keg stand of sorts.
All this partying is tough. Not sure how Paris Hilton does it. I'm out. See you at the next wedding.

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