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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's EGB. I've Hijacked MY Blog

Hey all it's EGB. My Dad has been busy doing whatever Dads do. He-He -He...I said do. Doo doo. Doo dee doo doo. Doody. Doooooodiiieeeeeee!

I'm not sure what he's been doing. But I know he's busy. So I'm going to grab the bull by the ankle and do this blog thing. I've been busy too, ya know. I learned how to say a new word, "sock". I'm not sure what it means, but Dad and Dom think it's funny. So I'll continue to entertain them.

Sometimes I think they had me just to be their clown. I'm really OK with it. I mean, I AM funny...I look like a pirate...and am a relatively good investment. With the way economic things are these days--I'm a sure thing. I'm guaranteed to make people smile and I have special powers that allow me to part oceans. I think that's worth it. Who knows, in some years down the road, I could invent something or grow some hair and be an actress--then I could start padding the 401k. But for now all I have is smiles and drool. Mom and Dad say that's the best gift of I'm gonna keep smiling and drooling--and doo doo-ing (to mix it up).

Until next's some pictures of me, of course.

Me and my friend Ella. We have similar names and a similar appetite for destruction. One time me and Ella took a roll of aluminum foil, wrapped ourselves up, and burnt people in the sun. Another time Ella and I went grocery shopping and hid in the meat display. Some wishful mom asked how much we were a pound. The deli guy didn't know so he asked the manager who said we were on sale. I spit on him.
When me and all my girls get together we establish chaos immediately.

Me on the beach in my swim suit. I can swim now. Been taking lessons for 2 months which means my friends call me Michelle Phelps. Part fish.
Ummm. Where is everyone. That big frog is making me pee.
Rule #1 when swimming. Look good. Check.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Mama's gone. I'm A Bunny.

Hey there.

Sorry about the delay, but I had a finger problem that made typing on a keyboard slower than a line at the DMV.  Ok not that slow, but it hurt.  I'm back and I'm typing with a vengeance.

So where were we?  Yes, the 10 month old, I know, I can't believe it either-10 months.  It seems like just yesterday that EGB was crawling around and I was changing her diaper.  Actually that was yesterday, but you know what I mean.  Now she has 3 curls on the back of her head and can say 4 English words--Dada, kitty, Hi, and doggie.  I'm almost positive that all the other intelligible sounds that come out of her mouth are some variation of Indian or an ancient language of some sort.  Which is unfortunate, as I'd like to give her more credit for more words, but I just don't understand all the languages she speaks.  Must be difficult being 10 months old and smarter than your parents.  She's just going to have to dumb it down for us.

By the way, she stood up yesterday unassisted for the first time.  It seems like it was an accident.  She grabbed a Kleenex box and yanked it off the table.  In the process of being enamoured with the tissues and how they stuff them all in this little box--she was just standing there freely.  In my excitement I started clapping, EGB fell over, started crying, then I started crying, then the garbage fell over, then the cat meowed and took a nap, and then the dog passed gas...and we all laughed about it later over warm milk and Cheerios.

So the Dairy Queen took a leave of absence for a weekend and left the Man of The House (self-delegated moniker as all other domestic cohabitants tend to laugh at me behind my back and don't like to be seen in public with me) to fend off evil diaper pirates with the EGB.  We were successful in multiple things--house didn't burn down, called mama ONLY 6 times an hour, survived a snowstorm, didn't run out of diapers or milk, drank all the beer in the house, made it to our swim lesson on-time, and were not invaded by the evil spirits that wake babies up at night and mess up my beauty sleep.

It was a success for all.  The Dairy Queen came home with a recharged battery....and EGB was thoroughly impressed with my performance and said she'd welcome the opportunity to spend a weekend with just me again.  

I'm happy.   Mere survival is a great measure of success as a new father.

Trying to set up a picture of the two of us proved to be difficult.  Papa you crazy.
Um.  What are you thinking Papa!?! I'm so telling Mama on you.  I mean, I'm like super little and you just leave me in the snow.  You're gonna get it.  Pick me up nowwwwwww!
This snow stuff is kinda stupid.  I'm all wrapped up in this bunny suit with no hands or feet--now what?
Oh no.  I'm not going out there again.  I'm mesmerized.
I'm a bunny.  Not Easter bunny...those are big and white.  I'm little and pink.  

Side note--maybe I'm biased--actually I am, but if this isn't the cutest picture of a baby in the world (sorry all other babies--you're cute, but not brain-vaporizing cute) I don't know what is. Could we win some kind of award or contest with this one or what?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Just Hanging Out Pics.

Boys weekend....then girls weekend. Us parents have been busy. I have lots to share, but for now. We've got some deep vault pics for the hardcore EGB fans to get their fix.

Hopefully this tides you over until the next posting.

I drool, therefore I am.
Whatchu talkin about Willis? I got hair.
Me in my animal kingdom. Dogs, ducks, and portable heaters.
Posing. Showing a little leg.
Sweet dreams. I have dreams. But then I wake up and I'm hungry. So I forget my dreams. Milk is powerful.
I've been trying unsuccessfully for 8 months to get this stupid frog. I got him now. I'm gonna eat him.
Happy as a clam.
Me and my mama. Not yo mama. My mama. All mine.