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Monday, November 24, 2008

Crawlin' To A Town Near You

The activity du jour is "the lunge". Any minute now, by way of millions of years of hard-wired human evolution, "the lunge" will turn into "the crawl", which will likely turn into "the I think it's funny to scoot around the floor eating dog hair and popcorn scraps." She doesn't quite have the crawl down, instead she now gets the "eye of the tiger" look and has effectively mastered the belly-flop lunge.

Since my only framework of child rearing is raising Calvin as an 8-week old puppy into the debonair elder statesman that he is....I tend to mimic many of the "training" approaches with EGB. So teaching a child to crawl=teaching a puppy to retrieve. Therefore, in attempt to assist EGB with her new found desire to transport herself from point A to point B (by the way, I'm not sure if she has a choice or not, but if I were in her socks I'd milk the whole have-my-parents-carry-me-around-thing for as long as possible) I put her on one side of the room and her favorite stuffed animal on the other side saying, "Here girl! Come and get it! Woof woof". This is the point where Calvin thinks I'm talking to him and pounces on her stuffed animal and we end up playing tug-of-war while EGB does belly flops on the carpet like a fish out of water.

Side-note: Calvin recently chewed the leg off EGB's favorite stuffed parrot. So now she rocks a 3-legged parrot which makes her look like an empathetic pirate with a war-torn bird on her shoulder. Most pirates these days wouldn't want to be seen with a 3-legged parrot....makes them look soft, but as we know our EGB is a friend to the animal kingdom. However, don't let looks fool you, she remains a milk-thirsty, banana-mashing, almost-crawling, vicious Pirate of Golden.

Anyway, my puppy training technique as applied to EGB is not only NOT working, it's apparently setting evolution backwards. A devolution of sorts. Or maybe it's just that EGB is learning to crawl backwards before forwards which means I need to rotate her 180 degrees to effectively continue this training exercise. Once we establish a textbook crab-crawl-shuffle, a video will be posted for all the world to see.

Up next, we're going to work on potty training in the yard. It worked for Calvin.

Man, I got two left feet. Come on...left knee, left knee, right knee...left knee?

Roadblock! Reverse....beep, beep, beep

This is wild. I'm learning how to crawl. Can I go to the mall with my friends now?

I'm tired. I just lunged like 4 there a training video or something I can watch? Ooooh, can I get the internet in my crib? I'm ready to get down with some surfing. You tube is fun.

Feed me Seymour.......
Calvin? Where are you, you silly fur cake? I just dropped my toy for you....
Hamming it up. This should be the February shot for your calendar.

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