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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

EGB Picture Mixture

Time to get the picture party started. First of all, this (see below) was in my redneck speak--"Dang near got run over by a 6-point whitetale buck deer. If I coulda put down my beer I would grabbed my shotgun and had me some deer snack." In Papa Dangerous speak--"Heeelp, EGB! Fly out of the crib and fight the evil varmit on our doorstep with your ninja prowess. " It was say the least. For your reference, I wasn't really scared. I'm like a regular Jack Hanna around here. One with nature...unless it charges. Then I might have to do some running.

Back to the matter at hand. EGB and her now legendary status as Queen of the Internet. Not since Jackie O has our country been presented with such grace, sophistication, and class. We've started charging other newborn parents to come to our house and view EGB aka "The Princess of Golden". Many have been flabbergasted by her beauty and ability to cure world hunger. One parent passed out in our doorway when she locked eyes with EGB (I charged her double). One visiting father's eyebrows fell off when he saw EGB writing a check for the electric bill.

Ok--I lied. Actually, no paying guests have come over....We're in the early stages of business development. Still working on the venture capital and all. The economy. It's a relatively new business model. Regardless, EGB can cure the darkest of days.....She can turn a cloudy-late-for-work-about-to-run-out-of-gas-no-food-Monday into a lazy Saturday afternoon sipping Mai Tais on the beach with an unlimited taco bar kind of day. It's true....I missed last week at work because of her.

Who me? What this isn't drool on my chin? Noooo, it's magic potion that can turn fryer grease into milk.

Still no hair. But, a point goes to me for looking fresh in my green warm-up suit.

Still no teeth in the mouth....but happy days are in session....
Whatchu lookin at? I can turn around now, you know? Say goodbye to the days of creeping up on the EGB. I'll spray you.
Nmmph, mmfft, rrrfttn, mrrrrph....

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