This was a "special" bbq in the sense that the baby to adult ratio was 8 to 1. Basically, you HAD to bring a baby or 4 ..or you were banished to the corner of the yard and were forced to talk about non-baby topics like happy hour, exotic vacations, and going to bed at 2AM because you were out having fun (not because it was milk feeding time).
This was "special" for us as it alleviated any of the are-we-going-to-be-the-only-one-at-this-party-with-a-milk-wizard fears. In fact, at one point I went inside to walk into a mass feeding-frenzy going on in the dining room. I think several kids were throwing food on their foreheads and several others were spitting mashed peas on the floor---I suppose it was a glimpse into the near future with EGB and the myriad of experiences that solid foods will bring. I'm not afraid. Yet.
Then I went back outside to swim through the seas of kids, dogs, baby bjorns, and snacks to find my clan. On the way someone yelled out, "(forgotten baby name added here) don't eat that! It was manufactured in China and is dripping with toxic lead paint!" My first response was to laugh...I know that wasn't appropriate, but come on, it's funny when babies put random things in their mouths even though that's the last thing they should be doing. I wonder why in the grand design of things that babies do this? It's truly backwards because now we parents have to spend the next 10 years telling EGB, "Don't put that in your mouth." Maybe we're not supposed to do that and in actuality all the problems in the world could be solved by putting more things in our mouths. For example:
"Did you get a chance to look at that proposal today?" Said boss.
"No, but I put it in my mouth and it tasted good." Said employee.
"Ok, proposal accepted then." Said boss.
See? Problem solved. By the way, the whole toxic-lead-paint thing turned out to be a joke. Now that was funny. Whew! I thought my kid was going to be poisoned, but now it's just a joke. Ha. Ha. Ha. Sooo Soooo funny.
Tom worked the BBQ Pork out. 12 hours on the smoker....cross-eyed from hickory overdose.
Several things: My boss Richard is not a responsible babysitter. Notice the beer within reach of EGB? Notice how her dress matches the beer? Notice that she was placed in an oversized football helmet? 
EGB wants to thank the many people for holding her at the party. Without them she would have remained in the oversized football helmet until the season started. We developed a new pilot for a tv show, Baby Swap. It's a new show on Fox where babies get swapped for other babies for the duration of the football season. EGB entertained many offers, but none were high enough for her to leave us this season. Whew, it was a close one.
Haley examining the goods. EGB was almost traded for Steven...but the deal was nixed at the last minute when it was revealed that EGB doesn't have a job with benefits. She's got benefits--just no job.
EGB was happy with Sue, and really enjoyed the perfectly executed textbook "right arm vertical baby clutch hold" but ultimately opted to stay with us based purely on the Dairy Queen's bountiful milk supply. By the way, Sue was practicing for her baby launch on 8.8.08. Same day as Olympics opening day. Go Sue Go.
Sunny contemplating keeping EGB, but contractual obligations to her pending little one forced her to return EGB back to us. However, EGB thanks her for "two-armed horizontal snuggle hold". Very warm and comforting.
0 People have left a comment. Do it. Click here.:
Post a Comment