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Friday, July 29, 2011

Bah Bah its Friday!

Whew.  Been wrapped up in a whole lot of things this summer can't seem to get down to blogging.  But I've got it all meticulously organized in my basement war room....the well is overflowing.

Speaking of "things", my new thing is leaving groceries at the grocery store.  Not in the cart.  Not on the shelf.  But right after purchasing, I just don't take all the groceries with me.  It's happened 3 out of the past 3 times I've been.  First time it was a whole chicken, next a bag of cherries, and last night 2 bags of shredded cheese.  I'm beginning to think it's a conspiracy.

Last night at the checkout as we're giving them our money...

"Let's make sure we have all our stuff as we've been leaving the goods behind," says Mom to me and cashier jokingly.

"Yup" said me looking at the cashier who was then looking at us like we were bat slappy currrzy.

Then EGB proceeded to make 130 requests in 10 seconds--

"Can I ride the horsey?"

"Can I eat a cookie?"

"Can I hold that?"

"Can we go to a restaurant?"

"Why is that girl crying?"

"Dad can we go on a rocket ship to go poopie?"

"Dad......" "Mom..." "Dad...." "Mom..."  (a hundred and 125 more times)

It's really unbelievable as we've somehow raised a little Perry Mason who holds court at the Supreme Court every waking moment.  I think I'm going to let her take the bar exam to see if she could maybe put those negotiating skills to work.  At least, it'd help pay for the groceries.

So it's in that moment of EGB's lawyer-ing vortex that the groceries disappear.  

Got home last night and was ready to crush some big boy nachos covered in two kinds of cheese.  None to be found.  Jay started laughing.  I started sweating.  It couldn't be.  3 times?  I looked in the freezer, in EGB's bed, under the hood of the cheese.  This is crazy.  This is crazy.

I had to drive back to the store for the 3rd time.  The cashier had the bag sitting there.  With another bag left behind by someone else (that made me feel a little better).  At the end of the day I'm not sure whose fault it is and I really didn't care.  I just wanted my warm cheese.

I have a feeling this wouldn't have happened without EGB.  However, I can't know that for a fact as my entire memory prior to EGB's presence on earth has been wiped from my brain--that's biology's way of making sure you keep your kids.  Otherwise you'd be likely to remember a time when you didn't leave groceries at the grocery store and beer and pizza grew on trees....

I'll guess I'll keep EGB.  

Peep the latest song on video (gotta go to the blog for you email subscribers), "Bah Bah Black Sheep".  Apparently people sang this song 5,000 years ago as no one is called a "dame" or visits people "down the lane" anymore.  Or as EGB says, "down the LAME".  Yup, these lyrics are lame, but EGB is hot and trying out for reality tv shows, commercials, and basically anything that keeps the checks flowing.  

Have a great weekend and stay fresh.  Good things are coming your way.....

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