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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Boogie Down Baby

This past weekend we took EGB aka the wild child to meet up with approximately 5,000 other mini savages to beat on plastic objects and "musical instruments". Notice the quotations as these "instruments" were really plastic germ portals masked as instruments that were at numerous times used as weapons against humanity. This event was called Baby Boogie, which was located in a bohemian style (translation: tofu pizza with soy cheese and beers with the density of cement--understand?) pizzeria pub.

The concept was brilliant--for 5 hours every Sunday, they transform a civil pizzeria into a lawless haven for over stimulated, under sized, crazed up youngsters. The intention and illusion is that the drool monsters will occupy themselves with musical instruments and dance while the guardians eat gourmet pizza, sip wine, and discuss the topics of the day. The reality is that planets and stars collide in a volatile manner which disrupts any sense of tranquility and causes kids to run into tables and violently attack inanimate objects. The mob mentality takes over and your child will be possessed by demons for 5 hours.

But somehow in all the chaos, there was peace. I think the peace is rooted in the communal struggle that everyone in that pizzeria endured. There was no uneasy feeling that any one child was out of control or concern that there was a disruption of a civil dining environment at the expense of a loose child whose intention was to beat on a keyboard for 20 minutes straight while screaming, "Pizzzaaaaaaah!!!!" over and over and over. (Side note--there is only one lesson that needs to be taught in kid product development business class. Lesson #1- kids love repetition...a lot.) I suppose it's like being in the light and variable winds in the eye of a hurricane. Finding peace in chaos has been a recurring theme of parenthood. EGB has taught me more than I anticipated. She's the best teacher I've ever had. And, by the way, EGB was the best behaved out of all the 5,000 dirty miscreants.

Needless to say that no adult conversation was ever completed. Nor was a beer completely consumed. I put down my first beer and it disappeared. I noticed a kid who looked a bit wobbly.....maybe he drank it. Then again most kids are wobbly.

Rule #1 at Baby Boogie--Find an instrument to boogie with.  Preferably one that is not being used, but if it is, say please and yank it out of child's hands.
Rule #2--Place instrument in mouth to make sure it tastes nasty like all other instruments.
Rule #3--Play a Steely Dan song.  Old people love that.
This Dairy Queen smile really says, "I'm about to go postal with some pizza.  I hear a lot of noises in my head.  They're telling me to throw chairs."Hey, I found Sunni and Mia...they're my friends.  We know each other from math class.

I'm heading for the hills...these kids are wacko.
It's bright.  I need my shades before I go on stage!
This is Sarah.  She's a groupie.  Some days it's hard being a rock star, but my groupies always take care of me.
Papa has the crazy eye.  Must have been that stinky boy who kicked his shin.  I'll fight him for you Papa.
What's this?  I'm a drummer!  And I told you I need bottled milk in my room!  Where's my agent?
There she is.  Agent Mamma Queen......Showing me how to use this set of keys.

Dang...the concert wore me out.  Don't come knockin'.  I'm out for the count!







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ellen said...

I must say this whole thing is preposterous! But it looks like fun and madness all the same. We'll see you guys in March!

papadangerous said...

So true. Preposterous-rex. Sweet--see you all in March.