Since I know you all love a story, I'll give it to you.
Papa D wakes up 5:30. Dairy Queen (her throne is intact) indicates pre-labor. Papa D sweats from ears and packs bags. EGB pending-caretakers not answering phones. Papa D bleeds from eyeballs. Dairy Queen indicates time to hit the road. EGB wakes up at 6:20 and gets dressed NASCAR pit crew style. Clan in car at 6:35. Dairy Queen breathing fire. At 6:45 Papa D and EGB bang on door of caretakers and jump through window. Papa D channels inner Dale Earnhardt and hauls Dairy Queen to hospital for a 7:00 arrival......then a bunch of weird elves took over, sprinkling fairy dust. Baby BB was hurled out of the womb at 7:30 and caught by Papa D who conveniently brought his catchers mitt and salad tongs to the hospital. That's it. He arrived. We are doing the damn thing once again.
Efficiency in the child production stage has it's benefits. Bagel and coffee by 7:35.
Here I am in all my glory. My eyes aren't closed. I'm just faking out Chuck Norris who is coming after me because I'm the only thing that's ever scared him. Fist of steel Chuckie boy. Get near me and I'll pop your furry chin. I DARE YOU! I'm sorry world--I'm actually quite nice and soft and have hair on my shoulders like my old man. Hey nurse, can you turn off that light? I'm getting sun burnt over here. This whole being-outside-of-a-belly-thing is getting on my nerves.
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