The Friday Update With Scary Alice Song Video and Other Things That Will Make Your Head Explode

Apparently I'm on a Friday then Monday blog schedule.  Riding the highs and lows of it all.  I really do have lots to share and sometimes it just feels like it's better to keep it short because I don't have the time to do justice to the longer bits that I'd like to do.  How is it that I have less time now that Ellie is 2 than when we were in the cyclone of new-baby world?  Maybe I'm getting old and lazy.  Or maybe you're all getting demanding.  So back off.  I've got a rapid-fire loaded blog ready to fire out.

The rapid-fire Dozen update.

EGB is:

1.  Almost 3 and pees in the potty most of the time.  The other times she pees on her leg, in the oven, or in the yard.
2.  Eats considerably more than a full grown silverback gorilla.  She loves to eat the normal kid things--cheese, nuts, fruit, carbs.  And experiments with fruits and veggies.  Currently on a jellybean kick which is what she told me she's saving her piggy bank money for.  Side note--she dropped and shattered her bank on the floor yesterday hence actually "breaking the bank".  I always thought it was a figure of speech, but leave it up to EGB to illuminate the world and prove us wrong.  She'll always be the bank breaker.
3. A singing machine.  Video at the bottom of the post will crush you with funky.
4. Turning into a "girl" (just accidentally typed "grill" which made me laugh--It'd be pretty cool if kids could turn into grills and then we could roast assorted meats on them as needed.  They'd be more functional than the rabid house destroyers that they are.)  Yes a "girl".  Requesting dresses, pony tails, things pink, and likes the mall to get her shop on.  She's also a tough girl though which makes her macho made-of-steel dad proud.
5. A smiler, a laugh-er, and a generally happy ass kid.  Old people say she's the fountain of youth.
6. One serious negotiator.  There was one morning that I counted that she made 14 demands in between waking up and walking to the bathroom.  One every waking second.  That's encapsulated madness for parents.  I walked in the room to wake her up for school and she looked right at me on a cold morning and said, "Daddy, I want to wear a short sleeved shirt."  (too cold for one). "Don't have to go potty" (we go every morning). "I want the green barrette with butterflies on it." (wearing a headband and have no idea where this green barrette is). And on and on and on and on.   There is a future in annoying someone else other than me.  Anyone want to babysit little Alex Trebek?
7. Deceptively shy and timid.  Given her bold personality it constantly surprises me when she cowers into a ball upon meeting new people or her timidness to try new things sometimes.  She's a real curious one and observer.  Once she warms up to things she's ready to party, but it takes her time.  I know she's two and all, but sometimes I forget.
8. Is still dancing and getting ready for the recital in May.  We weren't going to do it as it was stated as "optional".  Apparently every kid in class but EGB opted in which made the day in which they handed out dresses to everyone BUT her a bit awkward as a parent.  We got street hustled by the teacher who actually purchased the dress for Ellie regardless and then said we owe her cash.  The classic dance teacher hustle....
9. Enjoying skiing.  I've got to share the videos and all with you, but I think she may just enjoy the snacks more.  We'll see how she takes to it next year.  I'm not going to push her.  I may pull her more though. 
10. The rapid Dozen turned long on me.  So I'm stopping at 10.  There's more, but that's it for now.

It's time for "Alice" the legendary song EGB learned from her school.  She's been talking about it for weeks, but would never sing it for us.  I think because it's a really scary song.  I mean a girl who takes a bath and gets sucked into the drain.  That's hardcore.  What are they teaching these kids these days? There's your lesson kids--don't pull the plug or you'll sucked down the tub hole into the main drain of your house and likely get stuck or end up on the other side of town in a sewer.  Look what happened to Alice.  Eat your veggies.

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And a picture for those that need pictures to feel good.  It's Friday so have a good weekend full of family negotiations and grilled assorted meats.

Go fly a kite really high.  It's cool for like 30 seconds.

It's Friday.

Ahhh.  That's better.

Get yerself some weekend now, ya hear?

It's Monday.

I don't want to talk about it.

You too?

Yeah Boy It's Friday.

Get yur mullets out.  Do some noodlin'  with Billy Bob EGB.

We've had a lot going on the past two weeks....as usual, hang tight and you'll get the goods.  Sheesh, calm down, it's not like you gotta pay for this content.  And things have finally slowed down.  I've placed EGB in a reverse-incubator in which she stays 2 until I say so.  Pretty cool and working on the patent so don't go copying or the world will be over saturated with cranky 2 year olds manning the streets, crushing candy in pull-ups, and turning our grocery stores into playgrounds.

Speaking of--I'll always love that parents can just take their kids to these large plastic structures in a park and kids will just climb and run.  Adults could never get away with that....before midnight that is.  I may try climbing around at my desk at work today.  May start a revolution or tear a hole in pants.  I'll report back.

EG-Billy doin what she do best....Rock the mullet and drink milk in a can.

Side profile to see the business going on in the front....but the party's really going on in the BACK. Have a good weekend y'all and hope to see you at the river.  I'll be in my jeans floatin it in a cooler.