Mixed Mountain Pics.

This could be one of my favorite pictures of EGB's life. That's the best part about having a 9 week old baby. When statements are made by an adult like, "This is the best pizza I've ever had in my life." It's questionable if they truly remember each time they had pizza and if it's truly the best. We all know there are many of slices that get devoured after 2AM that may be forgotten as a result of cold barley malt beverages.

For instance, EGB DID have the nastiest diaper of her life the other day. Truth. Diaper weighed 17 pounds. Which is crazy because she only weighed 12. Think about that.

This picture is maybe the first time that I've gotten confirmation (which is basically a smile) that my daughter likes me. No joke. For the past 8 weeks, I knew she needed me (insert wife here). More importantly, she needed the Dairy Queen for survival. But in this picture I truly get the sense that she digs me. She fits perfectly in the bend of my arm and is smiling in my presence. That is a true gift. Thanks Lil' Tender Cookie....you've made my life. Plus the mountain backdrop makes for good scenery.


Uhhhh. Straight Flexin'. Going for the Gold in weightlifting. I told you she's solid muscle.
Goofy mom. Goofy kid. Doing goofy things.
Ahh...I'm gonna soak up the mountain air. Wait that ain't mountain air that's diaper cream. Where's my butler to change me?
The family in front of a poster of a lake with a sailboat on it.

EGB Gone Wild

We took the little milk monster for her first real hike to celebrate her 9th week birthday. Wow, 9 weeks and 6 pounds later....EGB has now almost doubled her birth weight. If I doubled my weight in 9 weeks I would probably try to run through a wall like, "KOOL AID!!!!!!", but EGB is stoked to be a nice plump baby in the 80th percentile of all other babies her age. I guess that's like a Silver Medal in newborn Olympics. Which might get her a minor cereal box cover. Not Wheaties or anything, but maybe some off-brand Coco Bumpers or something.

Get EGB strapped into the front-pack and ready to stare at mommy for a while.



Allright, everyone hold hands. If any mountain lions charge us flash your teeth. Oh wait, you don't have any teeth. Just camel-squirt some milk in the eyes. I've been reading a lot of Thoreau lately and I've been wondering if you will teach me how to write so I can put together a manifesto on conservation techniques for 9 week olds.


Shhhh. I broke out of the front-pack and now I'm hiding in some flowers. Dang, I'm rollin over! I don't know how to roll baaaaack! My hat is falling off! My sweats are riding up my diaper!!!!
I'm getting sleepy. They haven't found me yet. I wonder if these flowers have milk in 'em? Is there a Dairy Queen out here?
They found me! I ain't leavin! I'm gonna grip these flowers.
Mommy told me not to pick the flowers, but I wanted to give them to her. I better read up on my backcountry ethics books. Leave no trace....unless you're 9 weeks old and you've got a dirty diaper--anything goes when you're this cute.
Naptime in the woods. Wake me up before the bears get here.........sweet dreams lil' baby wonderful.

EGB is Rockin It...

I'm an alien. Take me to your leader....
Just kiddin. I'm your kid. It's me, EGB. Do these glasses make my face look fat? I'd take them off but I'm still having a hard time telling my hands what to do. Ouch, I just slapped myself.
Dang. You all dressed me funny. Don't you know that pink and red don't match? I need a stylist, not you two hippies dressing me up like some Summer of Love flower child.

Gone To The Mountains For Some BBQin...

This past weekend was one of the highlights of my life. No, it wasn't the Jonas Brothers concert. And it no, it wasn't watching my Bar Mitzvah video on Betamax....The whole family loaded up the wagon and headed West to the highest BBQ competition in America. "BBQ at the Summit" is in the town of Dillon, CO and is over 9,000 feet above sea level.

Thursday night I went to a BBQ judging school which was a million times more fun than real school. We studied the competition rules, ate meat, learned secret handshakes, started a fraternity, did some keg stands, and took the loyal Kansas City Barbecue Society oath of excellency in meat officiating.

Friday was devoted to walking the festival and getting ready for the big competitions on Saturday. Check out this guy working the grill like a rabbi on rye.

EGB asked to get a closer look at this whole hog. Then she remembered the story 3 Little Pigs and felt bad that it was now only 2. I just looked at this as a good visual lesson in subtraction. There WERE 3 Little Pigs....we subtract one and roast him now there's only 2 Little Pigs and they are in trouble if they're anywhere near this BBQ festival.

"Noooo Papa....I can't look! But maybe I'll taste? By the way, do they have any of that Western North Carolina Sauce that I like?"

Time for me and Tom to do work. Got the coolers, got the KCBS rule book, kissed the baby, said bye to the women, and went to get our grub on in the forest.

EGB wake up! Don't you want to see Papa Danger before he goes on a BBQ hunt? It's a dangerous world out there.

Approaching the lions den. The Judges Tent. Where boys become men...again...after their Bar Mitzvahs, that is. While there is something "manly" about being 13 and barfing cupcakes after dancing too hard to Tone Loc's, "Wild Thing"-- it doesn't compare to 3 hours of eating 28 pounds of BBQ in a tent.

While the men were judging, the women were......nursing behind 5 Port-A-Potties. What a surprise.

Overlooking the lake and contemplating if the men will be fatter when they get done with judging. Will they come back? Will they slip into a meat coma?

Phew! Pappa made it. Notice the smile and meat sweat on the brow.

The "Special" BBQ for Kids.

So we went to this bbq at our friend Tom/Haley/Steven's house. Lil' Steven is a couple of months older than EGB and is already asking her to prom. I don't approve of prom before the age of 2, but kids these days...

This was a "special" bbq in the sense that the baby to adult ratio was 8 to 1. Basically, you HAD to bring a baby or 4 ..or you were banished to the corner of the yard and were forced to talk about non-baby topics like happy hour, exotic vacations, and going to bed at 2AM because you were out having fun (not because it was milk feeding time).

This was "special" for us as it alleviated any of the are-we-going-to-be-the-only-one-at-this-party-with-a-milk-wizard fears. In fact, at one point I went inside to walk into a mass feeding-frenzy going on in the dining room. I think several kids were throwing food on their foreheads and several others were spitting mashed peas on the floor---I suppose it was a glimpse into the near future with EGB and the myriad of experiences that solid foods will bring. I'm not afraid. Yet.

Then I went back outside to swim through the seas of kids, dogs, baby bjorns, and snacks to find my clan. On the way someone yelled out, "(forgotten baby name added here) don't eat that! It was manufactured in China and is dripping with toxic lead paint!" My first response was to laugh...I know that wasn't appropriate, but come on, it's funny when babies put random things in their mouths even though that's the last thing they should be doing. I wonder why in the grand design of things that babies do this? It's truly backwards because now we parents have to spend the next 10 years telling EGB, "Don't put that in your mouth." Maybe we're not supposed to do that and in actuality all the problems in the world could be solved by putting more things in our mouths. For example:

"Did you get a chance to look at that proposal today?" Said boss.

"No, but I put it in my mouth and it tasted good." Said employee.

"Ok, proposal accepted then." Said boss.

See? Problem solved. By the way, the whole toxic-lead-paint thing turned out to be a joke. Now that was funny. Whew! I thought my kid was going to be poisoned, but now it's just a joke. Ha. Ha. Ha. Sooo Soooo funny.

Tom worked the BBQ Pork out. 12 hours on the smoker....cross-eyed from hickory overdose.

Several things: My boss Richard is not a responsible babysitter. Notice the beer within reach of EGB? Notice how her dress matches the beer? Notice that she was placed in an oversized football helmet?
EGB wants to thank the many people for holding her at the party. Without them she would have remained in the oversized football helmet until the season started. We developed a new pilot for a tv show, Baby Swap. It's a new show on Fox where babies get swapped for other babies for the duration of the football season. EGB entertained many offers, but none were high enough for her to leave us this season. Whew, it was a close one.Haley examining the goods. EGB was almost traded for Steven...but the deal was nixed at the last minute when it was revealed that EGB doesn't have a job with benefits. She's got benefits--just no job.EGB was happy with Sue, and really enjoyed the perfectly executed textbook "right arm vertical baby clutch hold" but ultimately opted to stay with us based purely on the Dairy Queen's bountiful milk supply. By the way, Sue was practicing for her baby launch on 8.8.08. Same day as Olympics opening day. Go Sue Go.
Sunny contemplating keeping EGB, but contractual obligations to her pending little one forced her to return EGB back to us. However, EGB thanks her for "two-armed horizontal snuggle hold". Very warm and comforting.

Miscellaneous Blog Info.

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I just woke up. Now I 'm ready to par-tay. Pop some of that organic milk.
In case you are wondering how to get to the older blog posts. Just go the the title of the most recent blog posting and look for "older post". If you click on that you'll get to see the older posts. Or in the right hand column of the screen you can click on previous months to see the archived posts.

By the way, on Monday night we met with the The Mighty Barrett Family Who Used to Live in Colorado, But Now Live in Texas as they came through Colorado on their summer vacation. As luck would have it we forgot our camera and their camera battery had died and they forgot to bring the charger. So the two blogging empires met without producing any pictorial data. Bad bloggers. Anyway, it was great to see them and we hope to convince them to move back to Colorado so we can run around in the mountains together like the days of old.